The funny thing is this couple have been diligently working on their Lanikuhonua wedding plans, turning in all payments, checklists, information to vendors, etc. on time.   We actually finalized their wedding more than a month ago except the usual seating assignments and final guest counts that we’ll finish this week so they can relax and enjoy their wedding week with their family and friends.

Since she brought up the topic, I thought I would take a few minutes to share some of my thoughts about  “high maintenance” or what some people call a “Bridezilla” who are usually just people that get stressed out because they don’t understand and they let out their frustrations on others.

Throughout my career, I’ve had the opportunity to serve people from all over the world and from many different cultures.     I have also had the privilege of either living or traveling to many destinations which helps me to understand the different “expectations” of people so I personally don’t believe in “Bridezillas” as we educate our clients on what their role is in planning and what our role is based on the level of service that we have been hired for.

For those of you that think you are “high maintenance” bride, these are things to think about:

1)  Understand that most vendors receive an average of 75-100 e-mails each day.     Personally, I do not mind receiving separate e-mails as thoughts or ideas come up, but understand that it will take us a little longer to get back to you and we do have to prioritize our responses, the same way you would prioritize a project you may have at work by its due date.

2)  Another option is to create a word document with your thoughts and inspirations and send it after you’ve had some time to think through your ideas which will save florists, caterers and bakeries time.  I always tell my brides there is “toggle time” and “decision time”.  Toggle time is in the beginning stages of planning when you’re getting ideas, colors, picking out dresses, etc. etc. and can still change your mind.    It is during this period that we keep collecting all of your ideas and we will start seeing some continuity and get the vendors that best match your needs.

3)  Understand that if you come on too demanding or have unrealistic expectations, that you will probably drive some vendors away.

4)  Keep in mind that those vendors that provide more reasonable pricing are going to be busier than those that have high rates.    For example, a floral designer that only does 2-3 events a month is going to be able to respond quicker than the florist that has a full-time business and does 4-6 events in a weekend which means you’ll need to have more patience if you’re not able to increase your floral budget.

5)  Remember that your wedding day is one of the most important days of your life, but it is NOT all about you.  It is a celebration of two of you coming together as one, bringing two families together and being with those people in your life that are nearest and dearest to your heart.

Margaret was actually the bride that introduced me to the beautiful oceanfront property called Lanikuhonua.   Throughout the planning process she would always say “I think you’re going to end up doing a lot of weddings at this location” and she was right!

Although they have not had an opportunity to come back to Hawaii for an anniversary, we’ve maintained each other’s contact information throughout the years, and when I had mentioned Margaret and Patrick’s wedding to another prospective Lanikuhonua bride who also lives in China, she wanted to know if she could speak to her to gain more insight about planning from abroad.

It was great to reconnect with Margaret who graciously offered her immediate assistance to help our new bride.   She said that their families all have great memories of their wedding week in Hawaii and look forward to a return visit.  What was even better was to find out that they were blessed with a baby girl on January 7, 2011.

First we define what they envision, the number of guests they anticipate, if they have determined a budget and where they anticipate their guests to stay while on Oahu.

The easiest question to answer is what they envision, which often starts with outdoors, oceanfront, private, etc.  The number of guests is one of the hardest questions for couples to answer, especially for destination weddings as it can easily range by 25-50 guests depending on the time of year and where their guests are coming from.    We’ve had some weddings that anticipated 80 guests and ended up with 120 and others that anticipated 125 and ended up with 75.

The reason we ask for the budget is to help guide them to the properties or facilities that are appropriate to their needs.    If a client holds back on what they are really willing to spend for a location, then they are sacrificing the number of options that will be available to them.

Beautiful Lanikuhonua ‘Where Heaven Meets the Earth” (florals by Su-V Expressions)